My Quandry: Detachment and Desires

Many a chilly afternoon I can be found staring out the window, dreaming about our future dream house. The layout. The details. The paint colors. The furniture. The style. The projects. The parties. The guests. The cozy family evenings.

The truth is, I like nice things. I like pretty things. I like good quality things. And I'm willing to spend extra money for items with any (and preferably all) of those attributes.

Manuel Barthold (1874-1947) Saying Her Prayers

I don't want luxury, mind you. My dream house doesn't include a sauna, marble columns, or niches for Grecian statues. Opulence and luxury are not the goal, but items of good quality and beauty are important to me.

And yet I struggle to reconcile this with detachment preached by the saints. I've been reading a lot of the Carmelite saints, lately, and without exception the message is: detachment from worldly goods and goals is necessary for advancement in the spiritual life.

I am detached, I think, insofar as my world wouldn't come crashing down with the china cabinet; they're just things. But I'm attached insofar as I'd probably immediately set about replacing them because I like entertaining on pretty dishes. I like people (including myself and my husband) to experience beauty and family comfort when they visit my home.

I know it's not necessarily sinful, but is it intrinsically contrary to the spiritual life to work towards buying nice and pretty things, to owning a home that's not just a roof over our heads but a little haven of beauty as well? Should I be happy to buy a used mobile home and 70's Goodwill furniture and spend my energies and money on loftier goals?

How do I know when I own possessions and when they own me? How do I know if I put my hope in Christ or in a new comforter that I'm hoping to buy? How do I reconcile detachment with worldly desires?

If you know the answer, let me know.