This past Summer was the pinnacle of freedom, or so I thought. I woke up when I wanted, did what I wanted, went where I wanted, and had absolutely zero obligations to clunk up my schedule. I only ventured forth from the house to the library, grocery store, Adoration and to Mass. I had little or no society and a great many weeks holed up in my cozy house, lacto-fermenting things and reading great literature. It was fun for a while.
Socialization for me, an introvert, can be rather exhausting and sometimes even onerous. Try as I might to be a hermit, though, I really do need other people. This Summer of isolation was a great wake up call for me. Not only were the days stale and unchanging without others' ideas, quirks, and personalities, but my self-centeredness and introspection skyrocketed and suddenly every minor annoyance around the house was a crisis and every minor ache was coddled as a great ailment. In the decadence of self-indulgent living, I had to create tension and burdens. SICK, isn't it? Living for myself, while temporarily thrilling and exhilarating, quickly became flat, boring, and utterly meaningless.
Last Saturday, my husband and I kick-started a new social season by
going to two parties, and the next three weeks of my calendar are booked
with social engagements almost every night. I'm really looking forward to it! We're doing a book club, Bible study, Pinochle night, dinner parties, prayer groups, and volunteering. Part of me wants to pull the covers over my head, but the other part can't wait to stretch my social comfort zone.
Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
17 comments:
I am an introvert. A big one. I understand the struggle you are going through because I love people but they exhaust me.
Sit home with a nice book that I can critique, or go see a nice person who might critique me? hehe
It can be so tough to schedule and follow through with social commitments, but as much as I tend to dread them (introvert!), once we get there, I always have a great time and am thinking about the next time we can get together with so-and-so. And it does provide some nice conversation that is different than the norm, so that's always a plus! :)
I think to all I appear as an Extrovert and my personality is much more extroverted,however deep down inside I would rather be home with a good book or relaxing than dealing socially with people at times. Especially when the old saying holds true "The More people I meet,the more I like my dog"lol
Mild-extrovert. People give me energy, for sure! - but I do like some down time too.
Your recent excursions reminded me that I need to start being more intentional about my social life as well! Thanks for posting!
My job requires that I socialize and be friendly all day and 2 or 3 nights a week , I have found myself cherishing time alone at home with just hubbie.... we rarely get off the "ranch" during our non work hours , but I do think socializing is important but good friends are hard to find
Total introvert, disguised as an extrovert, which is problematic when trying to explain to loving friends why I actually really love spending days out in the woods with no visitors.
I'm an introvert, I guess, but I really try to connect when I'm out with others. And it's not always that I want to be doing something, but a nagging feeling that I must be missing out on something, and that *everyone* is probably out doing something fun while I fold another load of laundry. It's tiresome, and I know it's not true (those assumptions), but I like to feel included. And being the one to always extend the invitation gets old too. But it's a delicate balance, the social life and the family life and the responsibilities that come with it.
I think my husband is more of an introvert than I. He'd much rather a small group of people, than a big group. Feels there's no way to really connect to anyone in a large group, which can be true.
Your upcoming calendar does sound fun though :)
Follow through is pain :). When I get on a social high like this I stack the calendar but then when the events approach I start magnifying my aches. "Oh goodness, this little headache is starting to be a migraine... I'd better stay home." Thankfully my extrovert husband brings me back to reality and gets me to honor my commitments :).
Exactly! I can be gregarious and outgoing in public and thus appear to be an extrovert, but it's so exhausting that I know I'm an introvert :).
I hear ya about being intentional about it -- it takes a conscious concerted effort to do this stuff :).
Oh yes! I hear ya!
You've just described my Friday nights. I don't necessarily want to be out doing something, but Facebook and the blog world are nothing but chirping crickets on Friday nights, making me realize other people have lives :-D. That's usually when I start resolving to up the social ante.
Yes! While FB is certainly fun and has it's useful qualities, it's also a seemingly constant reminder of what others are out doing :)
Amen, sista :).
I am quite an introvert, but I love to be around people. I tend to focus the conversation on them as much as possible.
Welcome, Anonymous! I'm an INFJ as well... or an INTJ, depending on my mood when I take the Myers-Briggs test. :)
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