My Day Without a Computer

7:02am: Wakeup. Realize the dishwasher repairman is coming. Hurry to do dishes to look like I've got this thing covered.

7:24am: Check on latest blogs and e-mails. Realize my battery isn't charging though the computer is plugged in. Ignore it for now.

8:33am: Aware of the fact I just missed Mass. And it's Friday. I hurry up and go to a holy blog to soothe my conscience.

8:59am: Eat some yogurt out of the container in front of the window. Realize the dishwasher repairman is looking in the window. Shove yogurt back in fridge while swallowing and pretend like I was inspecting something very important deep inside the fridge.

9:14am: See that I only have 54% battery power remaining on the laptop. Start to panic. Try to investigate reasons why my dishwasher wasn't working, since it won't act up for the repairman.

9:36am: Escort the repair guy out the door. He claims there was nothing wrong with it at all. Tell that to my mop, that's still reeking from the sludge it swiped off the floor last week.

9:38am: Start Googling, quickly, remedies for a battery that won't charge.

9:42am: Start backing up data. Down to 22% and losing power quickly.

9:50am: Data backup failed. It always does. Start cutting emotional ties to all of my photographs and documents.

9:54am: 9% battery power remaining. Turn off computer in case I need it for an emergency later.

9:55am: What the bazookie am I going to do all day?

9:56am: Go back for some more yogurt. And I'm going to use two spoons, 'cause there's nothing wrong with the dishwasher.

9:58am: Wonder if laptop withdrawal is emergency enough to turn the computer back on.

Resist.

10:25am: Plug laptop into every available power outlet in the house. None of them is causing the blue light (which I normally find obnoxious beyond belief) to turn on.

10:27am: Repeat.

10:40am: Repeat.

10:43am: Start cleaning my desk out. I've been meaning to do that for weeks.

11:15am: Plug laptop into every available outlet in the house. Maybe it'll work this time?

11:30am: Clean out the closet and rearrange the wardrobe by color and season. I've been meaning to do that, too.

12:15pm: Eat lunch. Start brewing a new batch of Kombucha.

1:30pm: Look at the laptop and thank the Lord it isn't working.

1:31pm: Play the piano for the first time in a year. I start practicing a new Beethoven Sonata. One of the really tricky ones... it could be a long day.

3:31pm: I'm STILL playing the piano. My wrists are aching, but it's so fun! Why did I quit doing this, again? Oh yeah, I have a laptop.

3:35pm: Start reading Return of the Native by Thomas Hardy.

3:37pm: Fall asleep.

5:00pm: Pick up Return of the Native again.

5:02pm: Start slipping into dreamland again. Shake it off and head to the kitchen.

5:04pm: Look at the blueberry pie. Oh goodness it's calling my name.

5:05pm: Bite my lip. It doesn't taste as good as the blueberry pie would have.

5:06pm: Hear the ice cream beckoning from the freezer. This is the hard part of the day for me. It's the time most normal human beings eat dinner... but not a farm wife. I silence my rumbling stomach, remove my right hand from the freezer door with my left hand, and wonder if it knows what it's doing.

5:07pm: Call my husband and ask when he's going to be home, again.

5:19pm: Get off the phone with a giddy grin. Dang I love that man. But he's not coming home for another 2 hours, and evading the call of the pie is hard work. You can work up an appetite that way.

5:20pm: Remember that school starts on Monday and none of the school books have arrived. Wonder if I should start alternate planning. Rationalize that I've already conquered enough procrastination for one day and lie down until the feeling passes.

5:38pm: Get a call from my brother and shoot the breeze for an hour. I do the dishes (who am I kidding? I loaded the dishwasher) and scrub the bathroom during that time.

6:40pm: Devise a new storage system for my craft supplies. While doing so, discover a whole box of supplies I'd forgotten I had. Reminisce and remember that I used to have lots of hobbies, and a life, before I got a laptop.

7:23pm: Husband arrives home (with a laptop cord). Happiness. 

7:23 1/2pm: Laptop is plugged in, and working.

7:45pm: Dinner. More happiness. Conversation. Happiness.

Why did we have to fix this thing, again?

So I could blog about it, of course.