Gurgle Gurgle

I have 20 guests coming over tonight.

And the toilets, sinks, tubs, dishwasher, and washing machine are backed up. (The plumber promises to come early this afternoon).

Every once in a while the toilets actually make a bubbling sound, much like the geysers at National Parks.

I hope they don't blow.

Easy Way Out

My 2nd grade niece doesn't like spelling. Lately I've been giving her some simple writing assignments. In her attempt to avoid difficult spelling words, she writes some rather amusing sentences.

Write sentences using antonyms:

"It is green so you can go. It is red so you can stop." (avoided: "light")
"Mom is down and I am up." (avoided: "downstairs" and "upstairs")

and my personal favorite...

"Fr. D is old, and Molly is new." (avoided: "young")

Pruning

Peaches and nectarines are over. Sadly.

Pears, apples, plums and prunes are in full swing. The pears are, simply put, pure sugar. The apples are crisp and juicy. The plums literally burst open when you bite into them.

Now prunes.


I'd never had one that wasn't dried.


And we all know what dried prunes do.


But these don't.

Let the fearless prune glutting begin.

I'm Delusional

Yesterday I spoke of my garden fantasy. Then I proceeded to waste a *cough cough* lot of time looking up on Gurney's what I would put in that phantasm of a plot of land:

Beans	Jade Bush Bean	$3.45
	Purple Pod Pole Beans	$2.45
	Improved Golden Wax Bush Beans	$1.95
Broccoli	Green Magic Hybrid	$2.95
Brussel Sprouts	Royal Marvel Hybrid	$3.95
Carrot	Envy Hybrid Carrot	$2.95
Cauliflower	Cheddar Hybrid Cauliflower	$3.95
Corn	Cloud Nine Hybrid Sweet Corn	$3.45
	Gotta Have It Hybrid Sweet Corn	$5.45
Cucumber	Straight Eight Slicing Cucumber	$2.25
	Miss Pickler Hybrid Pickling	$2.25
Garlic	California White Garlic	$4.95
Greens	Tangy Mesculun Mix Greens	$2.95
Herbs	Oregano	$1.95
	Italian Parsley	$1.75
	Sage	$1.95
	Rosemary	$5.95
	Tarragon	$5.95
Lettuce	Lettuce Blend	$2.25
	Buttercrunch Lettuce	$1.75
Leek	American Flag Leek Onion	$1.95
Melon	Sangria Hybrid Watermelon	$2.95
	Desert King Watermelon	$2.75
	Gurney's Li'l Sweet Cantaloupe	$3.95
Okra	Clemson's Spineless 80 Okra	$1.95
Onions	Giant Red Hamburger	$1.95
	Yellow Ebenezer Onion	$4.95
Peas	Green Arrow Peas	$1.75
	Oregon Sugar Pod II Snow Peas	$1.95
Peppers	Hungarian Yellow Hot Pepper	$1.95
	Gurney's Sonora II Hybrid (Jalap)	$3.95
	Super Heavyweight Sweet Peppers	$3.95
Radish	German Giant Parat Radish	$1.95
Spinach	Tyree Spinach	$1.95
Squash	Waltham Butternut Winter Squash	$1.95
	Early Prolific Straightneck Summer	$1.95
	Portofino Hybrid Summer Squash	$4.95
Strawberries	Sparkle Supreme Junebearing	$9.95
Tomatoes	Sweet Baby Girl Hybrid Tomato	$2.95
	Roma Tomato	$1.95
	Early Girl Hybrid	$2.95
		$129.05

Um. Maybe I should start with a few bean sprouts.

Garden Fantasies

You may remember from here and here that I love the idea of gardening but in lived experience think it's gross. When I think of gardening, I think bountiful harvests of already-picked and washed vegetables with the added pride of being "from our garden." When I do gardening, I think dirt caked under my fingernails, aching back, ew what was that slimy thing that just crawled over my foot and wow, I babied that thing for months and it just up and died without bearing fruit!

But, for some reason, I can't stop dreaming about gardening. I see others' home canned, frozen and fresh hauls from their magazine-like fairy gardens and think, "Okay, next year, I'm REALLY gonna do it! Never mind that I never staked this year's tomatoes so they ended up as long twiggy vines with fruit I can't find until it's fallen and rotted. I just need to get organized, order a million seeds, start them all in little containers... and wait to reap a bumper crop of every vegetable and herb I can imagine."

Oh, and I need to stop by the grocery store to pick up some tomatoes for tonight's salsa.